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School secretary fired for speaking Spanish in violation of school's no-Spanish rule. ¿Espera, qué? (charlotteobserver.com)
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Our Iranian friends, in an effort to demonstrate their benevolent intentions, announce Feb. 11 unveiling of "Fist of Peace" (foxnews.com)
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"Sheen Remains Weeks After Port Arthur Oil Spill." I bet he'd go away if they offered him some hookers and coke (abcnews.go.com)
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Photoshop your cell phone's granddad (s3.amazonaws.com)
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San Francisco finally steps up to help the people of Haiti (jamesfallows.theatlantic.com)
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Apparently the Battle of the Java Sea was so chaotic, the Japanese navy didn't notice the small tropical island moving around (boingboing.net)
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Hair extensions cause baldness (news.bbc.co.uk)
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Six shockingly evil things babies are capable of (cracked.com)
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Activists break out the ultimate weapon against anti-Indian violence in Australia: Vindaloos (news.bbc.co.uk)
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20 percent of adults would rather spend Valentine's Day with a pet than a person. Unknown how much peanut butter is involved (news.yahoo.com)
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Definition of parental overkill: waterboarding your four-year old daughter (abcnews.go.com)
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Study shows that actually being a parent may prevent your kid from being a fat, lazy, slob (health.yahoo.com)
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Dr. Conrad Murray charged with involuntarily manslaugtering Michael Jackson (contactmusic.com)
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Researchers are pfinally turning their attention to the health benefits of Ginger, Garlic, and St. John's wort. The pfacts are in: herbal pfixes are pfatal (nytimes.com)
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Rep. John Murtha (D-ead) (abcnews.go.com)
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Scientists are one step closer to finding a cure for aging, ensuring young people will not know the humiliation of senility but will know the thrill of dying amidst a hunger and disease-strewn, overcrowded world (montrealgazette.com)
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Half-naked women protest Ukrainian election. In other news, Ukranian elections are awesome (news.com.au)
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If you're a veterinarian, it's considered "inappropriate and unprofessional behaviour" to put a dog's testicles in your mouth. Huh, who knew? (metro.co.uk)
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One artist's amazing miniature origami. I can barely see what she did there (metro.co.uk)
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While Drew's recovering from his party last night, here are some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/31 - 2/6 (fark.com)
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Photoshop this red carding (cache.boston.com)
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GM is working with NASA on new space-travelling android. But they're still striking out on that whole warp-drive thing (content.usatoday.com)
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Once the province of the young and the hip, blogging is now considered as modern and stylish as spats and poodle skirts (news.yahoo.com)
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North Dakota, which has the lowest unemployment rate in the nation, has an exploding homeless population as desperate job seekers flood the state. Yes, this actually is a repeat from a Steinbeck novel (abcnews.go.com)
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God of Nerds Alton Brown picks the five cookbooks you should have right this very instant (online.wsj.com)
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Get your popcorn. Verizon blocks 4chan (gizmodo.com)
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While police work can include long periods of boredom, you probably shouldn't stage an armed robbery at a pharmacy you know to be under surveillance (news.com.au)
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City dog park comes complete with its own beach with replenished sand, offshore rip-rap barrier. Your dog wants sunscreen (www2.tbo.com)
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Cool aerial photos of Washington, D.C. covered in snow (myfoxdc.com)
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New research finds that beer is good for your bones. In a related study, researchers concerned that Farkers are damn near indestructible (abcnews.go.com)
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Have a Coke and a pancreas full of cancer (rawstory.com)
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Ain't no party like a Facebook party 'cause a Facebook party don't stop until your $1.5 million home is destroyed (metro.co.uk)
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Dead man found in landing gear. IT'S STILL WHEEL TO ME, DAMMIT (news.com.au)
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Sheriff's deputy finds out the hard way that his car wasn't as stuck as he thought (ajc.com)
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Massachusetts governor wants to fire toll collectors, replace them with surveillance system tracking and tolling every vehicle on Turnpike. In other news, Raytheon's check cleared (bostonherald.com)
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Caption this talk-show threesome watching the Super Bowl (i.usatoday.net)
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Elderly woman forced to crawl under cars to leave her house after CSX parks train in her driveway. Two months ago (upi.com)
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Jack Nicholson is considering a sky burial. Wait 'til the vultures get a load of him (contactmusic.com)
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Photoshop this snow throw (online.wsj.com)
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God's billboard wars are getting ugly (tampabay.com)
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Reason # 4559 to not trust a door-to-door salesman (nzherald.co.nz)
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A hard act to swallow (abc.net.au)
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Laura Chinchilla set to become Costa Rica's first female, rodent President (news.bbc.co.uk)
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If you have a temporary crown, some sticky poster putty, and a yellow highlighter, you too can fix a broken eagle's beak (denverpost.com)
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