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Thu March 11, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Contra Costa Times) Fail Teen shoots himself in the testicles. Bet he doesn't have the balls to do that again  (contracostatimes.com) (37)
(The Consumerist) Sad Homeless man finds shelter by using hotel reward points earned when he had a high-paying job  (consumerist.com) (31)
(AP) Strange Officials say bobcat responsible for power outage, ruining police academy movies  (hosted.ap.org) (17)
(Canada.com) Cool Small B.C. surf town of Tofino takes stand, moves to ban McDonald's, Starbucks, and Tim Hortons from wrecking its radical character  (vancouversun.com) (64)
(Daily Mail) Weird Hard-assed hood has brain hemorrhage and goes into coma for two weeks. Wakes up with a passion to paint, speak in rhyme, write poetry and love of kittens  (dailymail.co.uk) (38)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 253: "I'm a Geek, and I'm Proud of It". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (158)

Wed March 10, 2010
(Iowa City Press-Citizen) Fail Man strangles his girlfriend to death and then tries to kill himself by drinking bleach and slashing his wrists. Of course, he went across the street and not down the block  (press-citizen.com) (64)
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles) Fail Not news: Woman decides to rob people. News: Successfully robs 11 people. Fark: Robs $6  (nbclosangeles.com) (47)
(Mlive.com) Amusing He won $150 at the MGM Grand in Detroit, met two women who said they wanted to party, got a motel room, stripped and jumped in the shower expecting the women to join him. His luck ended there  (mlive.com) (93)
(KCRG) Fail Semi overturns and spills 45,000 pounds of batteries. Driver not charged  (kcrg.com) (74)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this flower carrier  (s16.radikal.ru) (31)
(The Press of Atlantic City) Amusing A good yarn? Town tries to solve the mystery of the midnight knitter  (pressofatlanticcity.com) (94)
(BBC) Fail Large Hadron Collider misses again. This is not a repeat from 2011  (news.bbc.co.uk) (376)
(WALB 10 News) Obvious Ric Romero headline of the day: "Poor choices can end with bad results"  (walb.com) (46)
(CBC) Spiffy A blind man with a seeing-eye dog who was denied entry at a Subway restaurant files outlandish lawsuits with claims that the experience has caused him unimaginable stress. Just kidding, he just won't eat there anymore  (cbc.ca) (179)
(Omaha World Herald) Dumbass Not news: Gunman prompts school lockdown. Fark: Gunman was wielding a Nerf gun  (omaha.com) (106)
(BBC) Spiffy Now that Al Gore has a Nobel Peace Prize, his creation might be next  (news.bbc.co.uk) (88)
(Some Guy) Interesting Tips for helping your dog to age gracefully. Apparently getting him a toupee and a Corvette doesn't cut it  (mnn.com) (46)
(Denver Post) Fail Next stop on the Failboni thin ice pond tour - Keystone, CO (with sinking zamboni pic)  (denverpost.com) (57)
(Eating Our Words) Cool 10 impressive-looking dishes that are deceptively easy to make. Your dog wants some coq au vin  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (204)
(Daily Herald) Scary Driver charged with DUI hit nearly triple the legal threshold for drunkenness. Fortunately, she didn't hit anything else with her school bus full of kids  (dailyherald.com) (57)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Vitamin D may help reduce the risk of almost any disease, say doctors who are trying to milk this information campaign for all it's worth  (chicagotribune.com) (92)
(ABC News) Scary More miracles from modern medicine: "They said there was a rare, but real chance that my bottom jaw would become infected and might have to be removed"  (abcnews.go.com) (65)
(CBS News) Obvious The US Supreme Court cannot afford to be seen taking the side of one corporation over another corporation  (cbsnews.com) (313)
(Yahoo) Strange Defectors spill details of Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il's secret network of agents, whose mission was purchasing Western goods from classified shopping lists  (news.yahoo.com) (66)
(Philly) Asinine Fresh off an armed raid of three bars for violating a silly administrative policy on beer, State Police raid a city beer distributor and seize cases of expensive Belgian and German brews  (philly.com) (115)
(Washington Post) Obvious Is the number of earthquakes on the rise? Are we employing sheep's bladders properly to defend ourselves?  (washingtonpost.com) (66)
(BBC) Ironic Research shows, Problem Children twice as likely to suffer chronic pain as adults. Karma tag sleeping peacefully  (news.bbc.co.uk) (63)
(Jezebel) Strange First day on the job, the new editor of Jezebel talked about her constipation. Of course, that attracted a dude with a fetish. So she interviewed him  (jezebel.com) (92)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this focused flow  (s.wsj.net) (37)
(UPI) PSA Next time your school's booster club is having a sale of donated items, be sure to go through the stuff and remove the porn, pirated DVDs and Aryan Nation publications  (upi.com) (77)
(Some Guy) Interesting Miami residents can now go online to report municipal problems like trash littering the street. Service to be online in time for Jersey Shore cast to arrive  (govtech.com) (18)
(CBS News) Cool If you think fish can't live to be 43 years old, you don't know Buttkiss  (cbsnews.com) (64)
(Telegraph) Cool Town puts of street signs warning drivers of drunk pedestrians. With a picture that any Farker would be proud of  (telegraph.co.uk) (63)
(Life.com) Fail Car designers in 1958 thought we'd drive two-wheeled cars that were guided by radar and balanced by gyroscopes in the year 2000. Instead, we're driving Camry's with problematic pedals  (life.com) (123)
(NJ.com) Silly NYPD informs public that rooftop sculptures are not jumpers, and that gargoyles are harmless as long as you DO NOT BLINK  (nj.com) (158)
(AOL) Followup Records show Ohio State shooter had complained his bosses were treating him unfairly, had taken his red stapler  (aolnews.com) (68)
(action figures) Spiffy Mad Men Barbie dolls - now we can have sexist office politics in the comfort of our own basements - in easily washable plastic, no less  (popeater.com) (85)
(The Daily Show) Hero Jon Stewart to Bush crony Marc Theissen. "It's a very selective world in which you live and it must be quite lovely but here in the real world things aren't so cut and dried"  (thedailyshow.com) (762)
(New York Daily News) Unlikely Prosecutor says that ex-sportscaster was so anxious to help a 14-year old girl in distress that he asked her pimp if he could get with her again  (nydailynews.com) (78)
(WTOP) Hero "... and make sure the soldiers bring a tank, I wanna ride in a tank"  (wtopnews.com) (99)
(Free Press) Dumbass Cool: Teacher gives classroom full of students a lesson in structural integrity. Not so cool: she was driving her jeep at the time  (freep.com) (28)
(ABC News) Cool Another benefit of Cuba's socialized healthcare: Free sex change operations  (abcnews.go.com) (78)
(Cape Cod Times) Strange 74-year old woman accidentally goes through car wash on the outside of her car  (capecodonline.com) (50)
(Boston Herald) Dumbass You'll be happy to know that TSA screener feeling up your daughter isn't really into her -- he already has a 14 year old girlfriend named "Kitten"  (bostonherald.com) (98)
(Providence Journal) Amusing 300-pound bronze female sculpture disappears in Rhode Island, possibly headed to the Jersey shore  (projo.com) (49)
(Boston Globe) Strange Is it still considered stealing if you pay for it?  (boston.com) (65)
(New York Daily News) Fail Not news: Facing a year in jail for criminal possession of a weapon after hitting a cop. Fark: With a snowball  (nydailynews.com) (110)
(Yahoo) Obvious Study finds obesity and depression to be a vicious circle. Circular, like a doughnut right?  (news.yahoo.com) (70)
(Some Old Fart) Obvious Your mom may not be the slut we thought she was but your dad is still a horny old bastard  (ottawacitizen.com) (74)
(ABC News) Sappy New theme park opening for people with special needs. Cartman already preparing with a rock montage  (abcnews.go.com) (47)
(LehighValleyLive) PSA Just a tip: If you need to drive over to the police station for business, sober up first  (lehighvalleylive.com) (11)
(Reuters) Scary Think about your six closest friends. Now try to guess which one has herpes  (reuters.com) (201)
(Metro) Weird By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you Man and ... pillow  (metro.co.uk) (142)
(TMZ) Sad Corey Haim officially out of the running for Lost Boys sequel  (tmz.com) (731)
(The Local (Sweden)) Strange If you're a police officer who enjoys rubbing your penis on cars, you might want to skip mentioning that in your blog  (thelocal.se) (55)
(The Register Citizen) Scary Psycho killer...signs himself...out of the ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-hospital, then he...runs runs runs runs, runs runs runs away  (registercitizen.com) (91)
(Psychology Today) Obvious It's official: Good-looking women like Lara Logan, Melissa Theuriau, and Debra LaFave still have edge in virtually everything over plain-looking women  (psychologytoday.com) (154)
(Telegraph) Obvious Nicholas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni are both having affairs. France surrenders  (telegraph.co.uk) (96)
(Google) Photoshop Iron Photoshop: Hotwheels  (hotwheels.com) (19)
(Huffington Post) Cool Ten coolest college courses, or; Why college is a joke nowadays  (huffingtonpost.com) (239)
(The Sun) Sad The nicest nurse in the world fired for having sex with grieving men who just lost their wives to cancer  (thesun.co.uk) (156)
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles) Dumbass Today's female teacher arrested for having sex with student brought to you by sunny Burbank, California (w/you know you'd hit that pic)  (nbclosangeles.com) (110)
(Wikipedia) Hero Chuck Norris would be 70 today if time wasn't afraid of him  (en.wikipedia.org) (341)
(Wall Street Journal) Unlikely And the next extreme sport is: Coupon clipping. Wait, what?  (online.wsj.com) (66)

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